


The Haircut

by BebbanburgBeats



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BebbanburgBeats/pseuds/BebbanburgBeats
Summary: Using prompt no.23. The Coccham crew get a little tipsy and Sihtric ends up with his most interesting haircut yet, from the #TLKFFF2020 Round 1 prompt list!
Relationships: Ealhswith/Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)
Kudos: 10





	The Haircut

**Author's Note:**

> A short fic originally posted on my tumblr for the TLKFFF2020 that I am finally posting on here as well

“Shhhhhh! You’ll wake him!” Finan drunkenly whispered. Well he tried to whisper it anyway, but given the amount of alcohol that had been consumed by the Coccham crew during the evening, it was anything but quiet.

It had all started when Sihtric found out that his wife, Eahlswith, was pregnant with their first child, and of course he had told Uhtred, Finan and Osferth immediately. They insisted a night out at the alehouse was in order to celebrate the happy news, irrespective of the fact that they spent nearly every night in the alehouse as it was. But as this night needed to be marked for the special news, everyone had double the amount of ale as usual, with Sihtric being given drinks from the other patrons in the alehouse as well by way of congratulations. As such, he had proceeded to pass out from all the alcohol. Even Osferth was borderline drunk.

Never one to miss an opportunity to mess with Sihtric, or anyone really, Finan had come up with the brilliant idea to gift Sihtric a new haircut as a ‘congratulations present’. Being too drunk to think of the consequences, Uhtred and Osferth agreed wholeheartedly. Using one of Sihtric’s own knives that he always carried, Finan started to cut his hair while he slept face down on the alehouse table.

“Cut that bit!” Osferth slurred drunkenly pointing randomly at a lock of hair, all the while Uhtred sniggered in the background.

Finan continued to cut what looked like random locks of hair from Sihtric’s head, until he finally stepped away with a final flourish, opening his arms with a proud smirk on his face. “Ta-da!”

Osferth finally seemed to sober up and stood staring at Sihtric’s new hair cut in horror. “What have we done?!” He asked, starting to panic, to which Finan and Uhtred laughed harder.

Tears were rolling down their faces as they laughed silently, chest heaving with the effort of trying to suck air into their lungs as they surveyed Finan’s handiwork.

“Well I think it is time to get Sihtric home to his wife, don’t you Finan?” Uhtred asked when he finally finished laughing enough to talk.

“Aye, let’s wake him up” Finan agreed, eyes sparkling in amusement.

Uhtred shook Sihtric’s shoulder to rouse him from his ale induced sleep. “Quite the night you have had, Sihtric. I hope we made it memorable in honour of your first child!” Uhtred said deadpan, while Sihtric rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his head but still feeling very drunk. “Although I think it is time to get you home to your beautiful wife, yes?”

“Yes, Lord” came the slurred reply. It as lucky that Sihtric could not see Finan, who was barely containing his laughter while taking in every detail of the haircut.

Standing up on unsteady legs, Sihtric wobbled and Uhtred caught one of his arms to stop him falling over. Finan took Sihtric’s other arm and together they half carried, half dragged Sihtric home with Osferth training behind with a look of pure horror still etched on his face and unable to speak for the guilt, for he knew what Sihtric’s reaction would be in the morning when he saw Finan’s “congratulations present”.

It was slow progress back to the house that Sihtric and his wife shared.

Depositing Sihtric by his front door, Uhtred and Finan straightened up and watched with mirth as he struggled to stagger the few paces to the door.

“See you bright and early in the morning for training, Sihtric!” Finan exclaimed with unhidden glee at the prospect of seeing the haircut in daylight and the terrible hangover that Sihtric would have.

“Goo’night, Lord” slurred Sihtric.

As soon as the door was shut, Uhtred and Finan erupted into loud, raucous laughter once again, while Osferth mumbled panicked, indecipherable phrases about haircuts and angry wives.

“You worry too much, Osferth, everything will be fine!” Uhtred said cockily. He was not to know how wrong he was come the morning.

  
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It was a bright, sunny day with the clearest of blue skies, not a cloud to be seen in the sky. Sihtric woke up to the sound of bird song outside, and the feel of his wife curled up in bed next to him. He smiled softly and kissed her cheek to wake her. Eahlswith slowly opened her eyes sleepily and looked at her husband. Her face quickly turned alert and... horrified? Why is she horrified? He thought.

“YOUR HAIR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR?!” She screamed.

Now he was fully alert. He moved his hand to feel his hair only to find... not nearly as much hair as there should have been. He scrambled out of bed and to the bucket of water, and upon seeing his reflection, he too was horrified, for what greeted him was an utter monstrosity. His lovely hair had been cut into the worst haircut he had ever seen. He still had the hair at the front, but the rest had been cut to different lengths at odd angles, and was now much too short compared to the front.

His head was pounding from the ale he had consumed the night before, and his hair had been attacked. The worst part of it was that he had no memory of it happening, for he was sure he would not have agreed to it willingly!

Eahlswith had gotten dressed while he was still staring at his reflection and trying to comprehend his new hair cut. He could tell she hated it, too.

“What happened, Sihtric?, because I do not belive you would have done this to yourself...” she enquired with barely concealed anger, as she had a suspicion who was to blame. It could only have been Finan, because Osferth was the baby monk. He didn’t have a bad bone in his body. She had hoped that Uhtred should have had slightly more respect for his warrior too.

“I know not what happened, my love, but rest assured I will find out” Sihtric fumed as he went to get dressed for morning training.

  
\----------------------------------------

  
Sihtric arrived at the training ground, little more than a patch of dirt a few metres square. Uhtred, Finan and Osferth were already warming up and sparring each other, when they turned at the sight of Sihtric.  
“Ah good mornin’, Sihtric!” Finan called with a grin on his face at the sight of Sihtric’s hair. “I trust ye slept well”. Osferth had retreated to hiding behind Finan at the unamused look of Sihtric’s face and even Uhtred had the good grace to look at least partially ashamed. Sihtric was about to scold his ‘friends’, but he heard the sound of his wife’s voice behind him instead.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HUSBAND’S HAIR?” Sihtric had never been more proud in his life when he turned to see she had followed him.

It was that precise moment that Finan knew fear like never before, not even the pre-battle fears every warrior feels before a fight, because he was on the receiving end of Eahlswith’s wrath. She was a woman of calm temperament, until someone messed with her husband, then she was she-devil herself and nothing could stop her.

Uhtred leaned towards Finan and whispered “Go! Now! I will delay her as much as possible.”

It was safe to say that Finan kept a low profile for a few days to avoid the ire of Eahlswith, even after she had fixed Sihtric’s hair to a somewhat acceptable style.

It is safe to say that the haircut was never mentioned again.


End file.
